It's one of those nights where you wonder why your life is so screwed up, and you wonder, where is that tiny piece of hope that you need to find to keep that smile on your face. I try so hard in life, but it doesn't give me anything back, just tears and failures. Yeah i can imagine what you're thinking. Ohmygawwd, she's one of those girls who are totally unappreciative of their lives and wants to get attention. NO. Everything was fine until i met you. Yes YOU. I don't hate you, i just don't understand why you think so badly of me, yet you are just so obsessed with me. Don't deny it.
Joanne Zhong:
has to hand in phone to parents at 10:30
has to sleep at 10:30 regardless of any homework or assignments
has to eat double the amount i already do
not allowed to text or call in front of parents
has to "fatten up"
has to be happy.
Dear parents, if you really think number 6 will work, DREAM ON. They didn't mention anything about not using the computer... but i guess i shouldn't be on it, in front of them. What happened may you ask? Hahaha it's funny really, because NOTHING IS MY FAULT. It's not my fault you give my parents such a bad impression, it's not my fault you are obsessed with me and it's not my fault you exist in my life.
Did i tell you that my parents also thinks im anorexic and suffering from depression? Apparently they can "see the signs". I'm not sleeping enough, i get tired really easily, colour has been "drained" from my face, i'm doing worse at school, i have back problems [ wtf...], i'm too skinny, i don't eat enough, i don't participate in as much activities as before and i am rude. I AM NOT RUDE. Maybe i am.. i don't know. but i really dislike rude and disrespectful people.. so i really hope i am not one of them. Oh great i have to sleep in an hour. I HAVE TO STUDY FOR GEOGRAPHY AND FINISH MY MATHS HOMEWORK FFS. If they don't want me to fail school they better let me finish my homework. The only reason why i was so tired today was because of tennis in the morning. Can they not understand that? I'm not happy at home because they give me so much stress and my brother is a massive bitch. Seriously, what is wrong with him? When will he mature? NEVER.
ihatemylifeihatemylifeihatemylife. I HATE NOT UNDERSTANDING ANYTHING AT SCHOOL. I DONT BELONG IN ANY OF THE CLASSES. I apologize to my hard working year 7 self who worked so hard to get to the top classes. I am failing her. By the end of year 10 i'm sure i'll be in the low classes. I feel embarrassed asking my friends for help. I feel ashamed that they are trying to make me less embarrassed by pretending they didn't know how to do it as well. I feel like a burden to my friends and family. Why am i such a bad person? Why am i such a failure.
Hahaha what's the point of blogging when i'll look back and think, wow i was one stuffed up kid, and still am. If i were God, i'd be ashamed of creating someone like me. It's disgusting.
