a song for you. listen.
but i guess... i can live without you but without you i'll be miserable at best
thank you amanda.
As you can probably guess, I'm feeling quite down at the moment because i had this sudden realisation that.. life is very.... boring. After attempting to do my essay plan in preparation for tomorrow's in class essay, i realised that this sort of boredom and... frustration is going to continue through my life forever. Where is the excitement and motivation to remind me that i should be looking forward to the next day? Homework on a daily basis, exams to stress about, then the HSC is approaching, get a job that you might hate, possibly never find this 'perfect man' to help you start a family... worry about financial crap, maybe start a family and suffer all day. Then you die. Is this life? Surely there's a lot of stuff in between that makes us happy and optimistic.. but what?
Perhaps i've forgotten the feeling of happiness and excitement. I really don't remember the last time I got really excited something. Maybe the only thing in the entire year that i look forward to are parties. Sure, they're exciting and fun but when it's over, the routine of boredom restarts. Not boredom as such, more like wishing the day would go by faster, hoping something new might happen, sick of everything. Yes that's it, being sick of life.
i am sick of life.
i am sick of life.
i am sick of trying.
i am sick of trying.
I wish i had a dream. Then i could work hard to achieve it and have something to look forward to everytime i question my place in the world. When I die ill just be another person dying. Who cares? Why do I need to try at school, in life when no one really cares. That's why i gave on that other thing. Because you didn't care.
