i feel.. nostalgic. I never really feel this kind of.. emotion i guess (is this an emotion?) because my memory doesn't take me back to pleasurable moments in life, rather the bad memories in fact. Why am i feeling this right now though? I'm blaming Skype. Okay so there is this thing where you click on someone's name and you can look back at the history "1 day", "1 month", "1 year" - only if it goes that far though. So i was looking at this particular person's history conversation i had with him/her... and read it all. Yes, all of it from 2009. I knew that i had more MSN history that went back to like, March 2009 but it was enough to make me sad. 

The thing is, why am I sad? Is it because things have changed now and i regret that it's not the same anymore? No, i do not regret it. I guess i'm always just.. stuck in the past. I find it very hard to move on without going back a step and picking up lost memories scattered along the path to the present. Leading on from those sad memories, i looked at some conversation histories i had with some friends which I am still really good friends with now. Group conversations late at night during the holidays, lame jokes, sick comments.. argh those were such happy, carefree times. I think i was really happy then. Really really happy. I loved my life, I appreciated everything around me, and then shit happened.

WTF WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE MY FB STATUS? people read msn/skype convo histories too? .. wow i never expected that. OMFG its 11:11. okay okay. anyway.. i should sleep now.. that means get into bed and think for another hour or so and hopefully sleep before 12:15 if i'm lucky. Stupid brain and its stupid thoughts T__T

goodnight. may someone/something/nothing up there hiding in the clouds please help me live through my days happily without depressing thoughts coming in and out of my head? thank you. okay thats my new title.