I'm happy. Tomorrow is a super bludge day and I get to work backstage for the concert as well as sing !!! Actually to tell you the truth, i'm not actually happy. I'm quite sad actually because I hate myself. I hate every single thing about myself and I wish I could change the way I am but I can't. 

There are some moments in life where you pause and reflect back to what you have achieved in your lifetime and what kind of person you have become. I think i just had one of those moments. I'm not going to ramble on about how crap I am, because I know I'm not a bad person and i don't feel the need to pretend that I am one to fish for compliments because really, I'm not like that. That's what I want people to realise, that I'm not putting myself down, expressing my low self esteem to get attention. I really don't like that kind of attention. If I say stuff to you, personal things about the way I feel about myself, then you are special. I don't say it to everyone because I am afraid of what others might think of me. I trust my friends  but there are a few people who i know like to twist things around and misinterpret information. There are also people who I know that always seem to care about their friends and know what kind of person they really are. (that didn't make any sense at all) 

Okay i have no idea why i just wrote all that but yeah... i'm feeling sad right now. You know, I should really start writing study notes.... but HOW am i supposed to write SO MUCH with such little time... I've been working on my pot until late afternoon since Friday and I'm starting to wonder if all this effort is worth it. 

Anyway i'm going to sleep early tonight. 10:30, that's good right? I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow. Hopefully I won't do too much thinking in bed. Goodnight.