I thought that listening to sad Yiruma songs would make my mood better.
They made it worse.
I am searching for something to make me happy.
I remember what used to do that.
I remember again that it doesn't exist anymore.
The only thing that could make me happy, is gone.
I am staring at my art VAPD.
I am wondering why I am actually trying to produce a good drawing.
I give up.
I want morning to arrive.
I want to be walking along the balcony with my coffee in my hand, my locker key in the other and turn around the corner and see my friends, heads down low on the computers until they see me and shake their heads at the sight of my coffee and give me a big smile.
Coffee again Jo? Bad girl.
I want to hear noises, signs of life.
I hate home.
I cannot escape my thoughts in this place.
They follow me everywhere, whenever there is time to stop and think.
They make me feel stupid, useless, worthless.
I start to believe those thoughts.
What do I do?
Wait.
