This lie's become a part of me
For months, I've played this game
Acting like it doesn't hurt
Each time I hear his name
Ignoring what's inside of me
Pretending I've moved on
As if the feelings I once had
For him are somehow gone
Spending each and every day
With happiness and laughs
Forgetting all our memories
Avoiding photographs
When suddenly it hit me
As the tears started to flow
That even after all this time...
I just can't let him go
Happy New Year guys. I hope you're all having a great start to the year. My day was worse than normal, which is pretty bad. I walked from my house to a park and just daydreamed on a shady bench for a long time. My parents got pissed afterwards cos i spent over 2hrs there... and my family friends came over for dinner which I didn't know about. Fortunately my room was in an ok condition after my hardcore cleaning to distract myself from my thoughts. Yes a lovely way to escape.
kinda looks like the painting i did for art
I think i'm going to start going to that park more now. Park bench + ipod = relaxing. I felt a lot better, and somehow i can "connect" with myself better cos it's really deserted and it's so peaceful. Windy Summer days make it better.
I forgot to blog about the 30th of December. I worked with Debbie and Sam and Vinnies, hoping we'd finish our community service hours (which I think i finished anyway but meh). Don't know why but that day we were all just out of it and really didn't feel like doing it as soon as we walked into the shop. We managed to work 1.5 hours and to our relief, went to our 'lunch break' which actually turned out to be a fun shopping experience that lasted for 2hrs :D Hahahha we didn't go back to Vinnies after that - how rebel! After that we went to the city and did some more window shopping and clothes trying on. It was super fun!
Well it's 2011. I really really hope that this will be a good year. I can't figure out whether 2010 was a good year for me or not. I feel like i've had so many new and interesting experiences that I really appreciate having, but there were so many moments that just killed me. Still need to work out my new year's resolution. Am I allowed to have 2? I'll work out exactly what is and hopefully i'll post it.
I'm thinking about working tomorrow. Should I? I want to hang out in the park and write in my diary though... sigh decisions decisions. My problems seem so small compared to the big stuff happening in the world. My friend reminded me of that. Gosh i'm in the stupid teenager phase. I wonder when i'll snap out of it. Goodnight :) Hope you all have a great year ahead of you!
