Surprise surprise, it's Jo blogging at 12am again :D What is it this time, you may ask? Maths, english, science? girlfriend, that was so yesterday (literally). This time it's Chinese. I'm doing some extra self-study for Chinese nowdays because I don't want to be disadvantaged when it comes to doing the Heritage course next year where i know there will be other freak asians out there who are super pro at writing, listening and most importantly, speaking. Having a cantonese backgrounds means that when you speak Mandarin, you have a very distinct, ugly, Cantonese accent and your pronunciation of words aren't as clear and crisp as people who've had years and years of daily practise at home.
Anyway enough about that. Bascially one of my main goals this year is to attempt to get the Chinese Prize which I have been eyeing for a while now (since year 8). You know, it's virtually impossiblefor me to get onto that stage on Speech Day and receive a prize for what... ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT?! Puh-lease, i'm dux level. I'm joking ==, my point is, I will never be able to go onto that stage and shake the principals hand, look awesome in front of everyone and feel EPIC ABOUT MYSELF because, let's face it. It's me. No matter how hard i try, i will never be good at the others and I might as well aim for something a bit more achieveable. Like top 30 =__=. ANYWAY what i have been trying to say all this time is, I want the Chinese Prize to feel good about myself and prove to myself that if I try at something really hard, I might actually succeed.
Which brings me to what happened after school today. Do you know those teachers where you try to avoid because you know that as soon as you start a conversation with them...it goes on FOREVER no matter how hard you try to subtly hint that you need to go? Yes, well our school librarian is this kind of person. So today I was trying to look for some Studies of Religion books to help me with my massive struggle to just understand what's going on in class right. So I ask her where to find info on the Patriarchal Narratives and she's like.. wtf show me your worksheet. So i show her and she's like omg wow the language is really complex. I'm thinking, NO SHIT THAT'S WHY IM HERE AND THATS WHY MY FACE IS STRESSED, NOT HAPPY. She sees this sentence that relates to Abraham and she;s like DING! -rant rant rant about everything she knows- 10mins past and this poor year 7 girl is standing behind me waiting to borrow a book. -5 mins past- I feel so awkward cos this little girl has been waiting for so long (and she look so edible). AIYA...
Anyway I ended up talking to the librarian for 40 MINUTES , pissing off 3 girls during the process. She literally ignores them and doesn't acknowledge their presence at all. I think she feeels special when a student talks to her so she just tries to maintain the convo for as long as she can cos when she goes back home... she'll be lonely :( nah i'm just making assumptions :D I am determined to understand all of this crap and I'm going to make epic notes so I can GETTTT THE FREAKINGG POINT OF WHAT HE'S GOING ON ABOUT IN CLASS. After what he did today... i don't want to go to class again. He verbally ripped apart my classmate's EXTREMELY GOOD paragraph about whatever he told us to do (obviously i pay attention). EVERY SINGLE WORD was analyzed and criticized which is ridiculous considering we're only 15 year old teenage kids :(
it's getting late and i should probably go... even though i haven't studied for the English Assessment Task tomorrow. OOOH and I also discovered another yummy coffee type... vanilla latte thanks to angela ^^ I drink coffee more often now.. nearly daily cos of my sleep deprivation. I don't know why I haven't developed dark circles yet. Hm.
Yr 11 friend's status.
Yes, very comforting.
There are no reminders of how this is 'real'. The memories that replay in my mind are all virtual. Virtual reality is not reality. So i'm beginning to think, that this whole thing isn't real at all.
