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so much to do, so little time.... 12:35 AM Monday, March 7, 2011
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I failed last night :( I went up to 3am and I couldn't do it anymore cos i looked in the mirror and BOOOM my eyeball was LITERALLY RED. RED EYEBALL. K dude that is not a good sign. I was STILL NO WHERE NEAR FINISHING MY STUPID MATHS EXERCISES. Anyway this is a super short post even though i'd love to rant about Taylor Momsen (i have lots of stuff to say) and boyfriends ^^. Two interesting posts soon, after all this crap is out of the way. AHAHAH I fell asleep at Chinese school. Like, sleep sleeep... my friends had to wake me up but the teacher didn't mind cos I had my maths homework in front of me and at least I wasn't chatting and going spaz like i usually do. Yes i did bring my maths homework with me to chinese school :D I went home and slept aftewards too. Ahh sleeeping..... ^^

English is still not done and my music lesson is during English tomrorow, thank god. Hopefully I can slip out of it subtlety and make up some excuse so i can send it tonight, that is, if I can quickly finish my SRP and studies of religion thing =__=. Did i mention that I have been feeling really ill for the past couple of days? It's sort of like a mixture of having a cold, being really tired and just BEING STRESSED. I have noticed that I can't hold my pen without shaking and I have subconsciously been tensing my shoulders without realising, thanks to my mum pointing it out (she points out everything). After I "relaxed" my body, did I realise that I had been tensing it... My back has been in pain more often as well... even though I haven't done anything. Anyway. Here are the symptoms of stress: 


Cognitive SymptomsEmotional Symptoms
  • Memory problems
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Poor judgment
  • Seeing only the negative
  • Anxious or racing thoughts
  • Constant worrying
  • Moodiness
  • Irritability or short temper
  • Agitation, inability to relax
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Sense of loneliness and isolation
  • Depression or general unhappiness
Physical SymptomsBehavioral Symptoms
  • Aches and pains
  • Diarrhea or constipation
  • Nausea, dizziness
  • Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
  • Loss of sex drive
  • Frequent colds
  • Eating more or less
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Isolating yourself from others
  • Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
  • Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax
  • Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

HAHAHAHA "seeing only the negative" NOT ME AT ALL!! The emotional symptoms bit explains why I've been feeling so unhappy recently, even though many things should've made me happier before.  Arghhh I am officially stressed then. Can you tick off more than 50% of those symptoms? I am incredibly sleep deprived and coffee will just worsen things. Oh well can't do anything about it... gotta finish one more exercise of maths and then i can sleep. Singing lesson tomorrow... how can i sing when my throat is being retarded?

I had some breakdown today after my mum was forcing me to go to my Art lesson even though i had SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOS MUCH WORK TO DO. She didn't understand how serious I was being when i said that I will fall behind in maths and DIE and i'm so scared of dying in maths... just..no T_T especially how I failed the 2unit task on Friday. omgosh dont even talk about that. Anyway she was just going on about how year 10 is nothing and i dont use my time well enough and i HAVE to go to my art lesson cos its more important etcetc. I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE so i started crying T_T ok i couldn't control myself. I needed to get my emotions out somehow and that was what triggered it so yeah....... my mum was like argh sigh fine. Hey it wasn't on purpose.  Ifelt better later LOL

Anyway i know that the stuff i am stressed about is nothing compared to what other are dealing with like extra coaching work, working long shifts at their job, extensive music practise and pressure from their parents. Hopefully all the stressed people out there can unite and be happy... somehow.


I have crossed oceans of time to find you.


ann he tm dd