I just had a realisation. What is love? There isn't a set definition for it, but it seems to me that people already have an idea of what it is, without experiencing it themselves before. That then leads to the question of, how do you know if you've been "in love"? Is there such a thing being in love the first time around, or are you only capable of realising what love is, after comparing it to previous experiences? I wouldn't know, I couldn't be more inexperienced.

So I have come to the realisation that most girls these days are in fact, in love with the idea of being in love, or at least, the idea of love in general. I know that nearly every girl has already created this perfect image of what 'love' feels like in their head. It's perfect. It's the best thing that could happen to them, or it could turn out to be the worst. Every thought that goes through their mind will be filled with constant reminders happy memories and desperation to be with the one they 'love'. They will love them back. 

Why is it then, that those girls, or should i say, us, create this perfect perception of love in our minds? The more we expect, the more disappointed we will get, and we know it. Yet we still let ourselves dream and wonder, some of us are trying to please our curiosity by taking a risk, or some of us just like to lay in bed and dream about the sort of happiness we can feel. Either way, girls at our age are at the peak of obsession. Obsession with the idea of love.

Then comes the first time. To many people, the 'first time' has been so long ago that it's merely just a broken fragment left in the past somewhere unlocateable. To a minority, this first time hasn't come yet. Some are waiting, some are simply disinterested or cynical. There is absolutely no problem with anyone of the above, but it does matter what kind of person you were at the time, if you have had this first time already. Let me guess, you thought he was 'the one'? You didn't know what to expect, but you already had an image in mind. If your life is eventful, then he probably did something horribly wrong, disappointed you too many times and quite simply, took you for granted. 

If you are one of those people who have low self-esteem and don't realise how amazing you are, then you probably never realised that this was the main problem.  For the most part, guys love taking girls for granted because it's usually the guy who has confidence and believes that he is the "better" one in the relationship, and you're the one who should be grateful that he likes you. The poor girl who probably never even realised after the relationship ended, that he completely took her for granted and for all the times she cried over the things he did, she never realised that he didn't notice or care. He had other options after you. 

To all the taken girls out there, I would like to leave you a message. Sit back and take a look at your relationship. You may be completely satisfied with it, and you're in the phase where everything is perfect and he is making you so incredibly happy and you've never ever felt this way before, but still, try to step out of that bubble and see. Is he making an effort? Is the only reason why you're so happy because you like him a lot, or he does things to make you happy? There is a massive difference and it's not hard to tell if you've stepped out of your happy bubble. It's not hard to like someone, but it's hard to have so much of someone's respect and love, to allow them to make an effort to impress you and make you happy. Because when those rare guys come across in your life, you know that you are very lucky. Why would they want to make you happy? Because for them, seeing you happy is the reason for their happiness. Embrace it if you have it, reconsider if you don't. It even makes ME happy when I see my friend's boyfriend planning (godammit, planning for goodness' sake!!) dates, brainstorming date ideas, thinking hard for thoughtful birthday presents, small gestures of love, random compliments and just the look they give their girlfriends is amazing. You can see the love in their eyes and it hurts just to look at them (yes im talking about the cute couple that i got together a couple of posts ago). That's what makes it all worth it in the end when it doesn't work out. At least you could preserve those memories and move on without any regrets of being with him. 

If he took you for granted all along then not only will you have no good memories of being with him, you will regret it afterwards. WHat's the point of the relationship then? The whole experience will just be pure pain and no girl deserves something like that. Because I have and ive only just realised how stupid I was all along. After constantly beating myself up for thinking i'm not good enough, I got tired. I AM good enough and i deserve more.  So like why the hell am i getting shit? I deserve what every other girl gets, so why am i still here? I'm off bro, i'm gone.